(Alternative title: Let’s Meet the Rock Stars)
To kick off the New Year, the Year of the Snake, 2556, 2013, etc, etc, and to celebrate 3 years in Chiang Mai, I started New Year’s Day, writing. This is meant in jest, as I feel I must explain, because I do adore and love men. And yes, I’ve already been asked to do the 7 types of female expats you might find.
The Dirty Harry: This lead singer is the quintessential gun slinger to be found in watering holes, saloons and the back of Thai girls’ motorbikes. They have been spotted urinating in stairwells, dry humping Thai women and stumbling back home after a rousing night out on the town (aka: the Sexpat).
The Playboy: This lead guitarist is the showboat pony of the band. One type can be seen looking important, driving his car, surrounded by adoring fans, and with a stunning lady on his arm. The other type hides the fact that he is a playboy, thereby relegating himself to “player” status; propensity to pucker when doesn’t get his way (aka: do not leave child unattended).
The Family Man: The manager of the male expat wolf pack, he is responsible, hard-working, kind and happily married or committed to the woman he came to Thailand with. Seen smiling, helping out with the kids, and good-natured even when picking up a pack of super absorbent maxi pads. Not as rare as previously believed (aka: The Missionary, My Friend’s Husband).
The Hitchhiker: Otherwise known as the “Couch Surfer,” this rhythm guitarist has a tendency to rotate through various jobs and ventures as he tries to find a way to stay in Thailand. Gets in his own way, has grand plans, has no idea what he wants in life, fluctuates between pad see ew and Pizza Hut (aka: the Sexpat, just kidding, Mama’s boy).
The Digital Nomad: These “still waters run deep” types are the drummers, the behind the scene players that don’t always get noticed at first glance. They are the big mouths who blog brag their ideas to the world or the silent types who can unfortunately slip into “hitchhiker” status. A relatively new breed that bares further study and observation.
Gone Native: Sometimes known as The Family Man but, these bass players are not always in a relationship. Common characteristics include: speaking Thai extremely well (or thinks he does), vast knowledge of Thai culture, politics, religion and geography, and the putting down of all things Western (aka: the Coconut).
Old as Buddha: Seniority has its perks, as these Keith Richard archetypes know all too well. Voyeuristic and as vampy as the black socks they wear with shorts, when we think of Thailand’s expats, we think Old White Men. Social security never smelled so tired and tried. Warning: uses technology.
Honorable mentions: The Yogi, the Shirley Temple, and the Weirdo, I know you all can think of more…”It’s raining men, hallelujah!”